TRUTH IS BEAUTY
Updated: May 9, 2020
"The truth shall set you free"
- John 8:32
It seems fitting that this card was pulled for me this week. For the past week I’ve observed a situation that wasn’t in alignment with my truth. Every day I sat in observation and felt..... ooooofffff this is icky inside my bones. Something about this isn’t right and doesn’t feel good in my body. My intuition is telling me something is off.........BUT......I sat thinking it wasn’t my place to speak my truth and I just allowed people to live their lives.......The more I sat, the more my truth wanted acknowledgement. The more it slapped me across the face trying to get my awareness and attention.
I’ve lived most of my life not speaking my truth so that I could appease everyone else around me. I've done this especially well in relationships. During my marriage I vividly remember not speaking my truth or setting boundaries so that we could just “be happy!” I didn't want to have hard conversations that might rock the boat. If my husband was HAPPY, all would be well, RIGHT????......BUT.......The less I shared the further apart we drifted. We drifted because not speaking my truth didn't lead to an authentic realtionship. And living a facade didn't make me feel safe or nourished......Placating and Pleasing.....I began to feel like this quote..........
“Darling you are too heavy because you are too full of truth. Open your mouth more. Let’s truth exists somewhere other than in your body”- Dela Hicks-Wilson
This week when I didn't speak my truth, it became STORED in my body..... stored so deeply that it has wretched me with anxiety. An anxiety that has been seething in every cell holding a death grip on me. It's been so all consuming that I've wanted to crawl out of my skin. It seemed there was nothing I could do to escape it. I couldn’t run it away, eat it away, drink it away or talk it away. Where ever I went this shadow followed me and there was no reprieve from its claws.
Encouraged by my therapist to speak my truth unattached to the outcome something miraculous happened....... Immediately all of the tension, dread, anxiety, and pain rushed out of my body! It was as though the flood gates opened and everything I had been holding was released with the power of a water fall.
The Truth of the matter is..... the other persons response didn’t matter. Maybe they heard me..... maybe they didn’t! But I got to be authentic and stand in the power of my voice. I also learned that not sharing my truth reeks havoc as it stays stored in my body. AND....I'm learning to trust my body when something feels icky inside and trust my intuition when something feels off.
As Glennon Doyle.........explores in her newest book Untamed......."the joy and peace we discover when we stop striving to meet others’ expectations and start trusting the voice deep within us"...will liberate us emotionally, spiritually and physically......
What ever your truth is today, I encourage you to speak it boldly with compassion and love. The power that you will feel on the other side of using your voice is liberating and healing. Let’s be done placating, pleasing and allowing others to push our boundaries! Today let's be untamed and step into our spots. As Glennon Doyle shares...... when we live in our authentic power we give others permission to do the same.... Liberation is never one sided...........