The Importance of Ritual
"There is nothing more rare nor more beautiful than a woman being unapologetically herself. Comfortable in her perfect imperfection. To me that’s the essence of beauty." ~ Steve Maraboli
I have just returned home from Burning Man. Burning Man has always been a sacred and spiritual time for me. It’s always been place of Magic and Miracles. My experience there could not be further from how it is usually portrayed in the media and what people associate with The Burn. I burned Sober and Celibate and YES that is possible!! It’s actually much more common than one might think. My time on playa this year was nurturing, restorative, and nourishing. I spent my days hosting workshops and was amazed by the abundance of people who showed up to attend. I shared a tent with two of my dearest friends who are my daughter’s spirit guides and basked in loving feminine energy. Cici and Khady made my burn more special than I ever could have dreamed.
I have always believed that ritual is so important and this year I decided to engage in ritual to honor myself.
On Saturday of Labor Day weekend, I made a commitment to myself in a new way. 12 years after my marriage to my ex-husband on the same weekend/day of our wedding anniversary, I decided to marry myself. The number 12 represents a cycle of completion, which could not have been more fitting. The first year that I ever attended Burning Man I was distraught with grief. Burning Man was taking place on my 7 year wedding anniversary, which was also the first year that I was separated from my ex-husband. I remember thinking that I would never recover and heal...that I would be broken forever. This year marrying myself was a symbol of healing and a space that I never dreamed I would get to.
Surrounded by my dearest friends I spoke my vows out loud making a commitment to myself in this ritual. Cici performed the ceremony and Khady walked me down the isle. It was powerful to be surrounded by women who were here with me when I conceived my daughter and who also helped me birth her. As I stood in front of my campmates at temple I proudly proclaimed…….
Kara, I am here to honor you today and make a commitment to you in a new way. This ceremony is about cultivating self love and acceptance. I am here today to share with you how deeply I care about you and how beautiful and perfect you are in each and every single moment. You are a being of pure light and love and I am grateful to experience this earthly voyage with you. You are beautiful, you are radiant, you are graceful, and you are fully empowered just as you are. You don’t need to be anything except who you are in each and every single moment. I want to continue to experience the depths of human emotion with you and to be really present and nurturing to you in those experiences. I want to listen to your body, to love your body, and to nurture your body deeply even in the depth of pain and sorrow. I want to explore the depths of emotional intimacy with you. I want to get sticky, messy, and dirty with you and accept you fully in that state. I promise to laugh with you!....To laugh hard…like belly laugh and to tap into your inner joy. I am committed to cultivating beautiful moments with you that are fully in alignment with your highest truth. I am committed to self care in a way that cultivates nourishment and love in every single moment that you need it. I am committed to honoring you in a way that you need, when you need it. I Love You, Kara Kihm. I love you so so so so much!
Following my wedding, my campmates popped champagne and had food for a reception. I was married Saturday morning and the man burned that evening. As everyone got dressed for the biggest night out at burning man, I had a honeymoon alone in my tent. As someone who gets really FOMO and loves to be the life of the party this was a profound shift. I was content and happy completely alone for the first time with myself.