• Kara Kihm

Have a Meltdown

“She grabbed all her clothes from her wardrobe and flung them across the room, screaming her head off until she finally felt sane again. Cecelia Ahern, P.S. I Love You


Yesterday, I had a meltdown! A complete and utter meltdown. It was as if the pain of life took over every cell in my body and I was inconsolable. If you've never had a meltdown, I highly recommend it. The end result is very cathartic.



Yesterday as I arrived at my friend's house, tears streamed down my face as he hoped in the car to go grab breakfast. I quickly announced in a fluster, "I'm loosing it and I just need to have a meltdown." My friend looked at me with compassion in his eyes and replied, "Great! Have a meltdown. It will be good for you." So I did! I melted until I was a puddle on the ground with no form to define me. My dear friend just sat there in silence holding space with an open heart. He didn't try to problem solve, or strategize, or make it better. He just sat!


Later on I wrote my friend a text thanking him for his ability to hold space in my pain. That was all I truly needed. He replied with this story........


It occurred to Pooh and Piglet that they hadn’t heard from Eeyore for several days, so they put on their hats and coats and trotted across the Hundred Acre Wood to Eeyore’s stick house. Inside the house was Eeyore.


“Hello Eeyore,” said Pooh. “Hello Pooh. Hello Piglet,” said Eeyore, in a Glum Sounding Voice. “We just thought we’d check in on you,” said Piglet, “because we hadn’t heard from you, and so we wanted to know if you were okay.”


Eeyore was silent for a moment. “Am I okay?” he asked, eventually. “Well, I don’t know, to be honest. Are any of us really okay? That’s what I ask myself. All I can tell you, Pooh and Piglet, is that right now I feel really rather Sad, and Alone, and Not Much Fun To Be Around At All. Which is why I haven’t bothered you. Because you wouldn’t want to waste your time hanging out with someone who is Sad, and Alone, and Not Much Fun To Be Around At All, would you now.”


Pooh looked and Piglet, and Piglet looked at Pooh, and they both sat down, one on either side of Eeyore in his stick house. Eeyore looked at them in surprise. “What are you doing?” “We’re sitting here with you,” said Pooh, “because we are your friends. And true friends don’t care if someone is feeling Sad, or Alone, or Not Much Fun To Be Around At All. True friends are there for you anyway. And so here we are.”


“Oh,” said Eeyore. “Oh.” And the three of them sat there in silence, and while Pooh and Piglet said nothing at all; somehow, almost imperceptibly, Eeyore started to feel a very tiny little bit better. Because Pooh and Piglet were There. No more; no less.


Sometimes all we need is to just have a meltdown AND to be with friends who can sit with us in our pain in the ick of life! Those moments are where the deepest healing can happen.


As one of my favorite quotes says.......“Sometimes, breaking down is the bravest thing you can do.”

Vironika Tugaleva


So I encourage two things today....1. Have a meltdown and just allow yourself to be with your pain and ick.


AND


2. When someone is melting down just sit with them in their ick. Show up present with an open heart. Our presence is the gift.

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